does it really get better or do we just get used to it???

im not the girl that remembers your birthday. or favorite color . your neighbors name, let alone face . i dont know how many birthmarks you have or if you shave your beard or not. im the girl that cares about you when i say i fucking dont. im the girl that runs away then tells you not to chase her. im the girl that has been chewed up and spit out and spit on repeatedly trusting people with my not only heart but my soul. so

im SORRY. most days ill forget my own fucking name. i dont know when fucking easter is. ACTUALLY I DO.. BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY i tell someone when im sad. or hurt. or wanna talk about why im bothered. and if you think the date of your birthday or color of your favorite shirt defines that, im sorry. because in my heart , i feel im trying.the absolute best of my possible ability. to love you. and me. properly.